Combat Extreme!!!

One day I found a video cassette without a printed name, lying on the road. Curious, me and my friend Dorji went home and put in the cassette. The starting was weird, not like any good Hollywood movie which usually started with twentieth century fox or Warner brothers. Nor was it the Puja initiated Bollywood flick.

X…X…X in the startup just put up confusion in our head. We had never watched any movie of that sort. With confused looks, we stared at the screen, excited and ashamed at the same time. It was our first experience with porn.

Since the cassette didn’t have a name, we decided to give it a name of our own, for avoiding suspicions. After much discussion we gave it a neat name: Combat Extreme.

With the name printed on it, Combat Extreme was on its way to put some action in my two best friend’s life.

1.

My friend Dorji wanted to take the cassette home for a more personal viewing. Chetola, Haha. Once at home, he took the full liberty of being alone at home. Curtains closed, doors locked and excitement at the fullest he played on the VCR. Eyes transfixed, and fully lost in the action of Combat Extreme he completely forgot about the high volume. In his excitement, Dorji had forgotten to check the master bedroom. He wasn’t alone. His father was at home, sleeping in his room. The loud volume had done its part in waking up his father. What followed is imaginable. One can now understand. He was just 13 then. Parental Guidance came in, in the form of what he calls as the beating of his life.

“Take this ill fated cassette back,” said Dorji, as he returned Combat Extreme to me.

2.

Suraj, my other friend was totally into action movies. Jackie Chan was his god. One day he had come to my place to exchange movies. As he was going through my collection, he stopped at the sight of combat extreme. “How is this movie?” he asked, totally taken by the name.

“Oh! This movie is great, great action. But I don’t think that I can lend you this one. I don’t want to lose it as it’s my favorite,” I replied with a smirk. Evidently from his love of action movies he pleaded with me. I finally agreed as he promised to let me ride his newly bought Bike for a day. He was a miser when it came to his Avon Bike. Deals done, we went to his place and I rode back home in his Avon bike.

“Jatha (Asshole), your cassette put me in great trouble,” was all he said as he returned the cassette and rode off in his Avon bike. The angry look on his face was enough for me, not to ask anything further. Later I found out. I hadn’t known that his mother loved Bruce Lee and father was totally into Chuck Norris and they had planned for a family viewing. Real action packed family. They had all been anxious to watch the movie after the preview from their son. Dinner done and Combat Extreme was played. No one moved in the 10 minutes of the movie. They had all been numbed by the surprise. 10 minutes was all it took for the Chuck Norris dad to give a flying kungfu slap to the Jackie Chan Son. Bruce Lee mom couldn’t get out of the shock to react.

My friends’ nightmares became the source of my laughter. I spent days laughing imagining them with blank looks and the extreme fury flurried at them by their parents.

My quick thinking and luck saved me from joining them at the laughing end of the Combat Extreme experience. One day my father was cleaning the TV box and was arranging the cassettes. He came upon Combat Extreme and said, “Hey I haven’t watched this.”

Freaking out, I quickly chirped in “this cassette is spoilt.” He bought my word and grunted his disappointment.

The experiences of my two friends and my personal close shave with the Combat Extreme action were enough for me, to finally decide to get rid of the cassette. On my first chance, I left it on the same place where I had found it, but with its promising name intact: Combat Extreme.